Greetings weary travelers, Wednesday is upon us once again, and this week it brings the hope that the flagship Star Wars series will finally get to the business of rescuing C-3PO from the clutches of the incredibly rad SCAR Squadron…unless I guess they’re just assuming that R2’s going to do that “off-page” and they’ll fill us in on the comic crawl they’re both back and everything is fine…wouldn’t surprise me, honestly…anyway, why speculate when we can just read the comic and find out!
Star Wars #33
Much to my dismay, the concern for C-3PO & R2 remains at less than zero…sigh…anyway, it appears Luke & Leia were on a routine mission (you might say a “three hour tour”) when they were damaged by TIEs, ducked into a nebula to escape, and ended up having to land on an unknown, nearly all-water planet. So, yeah, it’s the Swiss Family Skywalker. After weeks of scraping by (yeah, that’s right, weeks – tons of time is passing since 3PO was captured and it’s so far beyond irksome that I barely want to read these comics anymore when I find out his rescue is once again on the back burner), the duo has a Star Wars Rebels-esque plan of using Leia as bait to lure a huge space hammerhead shark out of the water so Luke can dispatch it with his lightsaber. The plan works, they eat a satisfying grilled fish dinner, lie on their backs to look at the stars, and wax poetic about their homes, missing families, and how they’ll never truly be alone. Then we learn that Luke has rigged up some moisture vaporators with parts from the ship and blaster power packs, so Leia is hunting Hunger Games style (or Aloy style, if you’re down for some Horizon Zero Dawn) with a bow and arrow. She’s about to take down what looks like an ikopi when there’s a big splash in the distance so she rushes to Luke to see what it was. They determine it to have been the Empire and are deciding how to handle it when mer-creatures emerge from the sea, one of them holding a Stormtrooper helmet…somehow, through the shared language of a common enemy, I guess, Luke & Leia befriend these water folk and swim down with them to check out their impressive coral city. Bolstered by the knowledge that they have to defeat the Empire not only to save themselves, but the water folk as well, they devise a plan: they’re going to lure the Empire to their island by starting a roaring fire and lay in wait with traps set. This works like a charm, but we find out that the big splash from before was, presumably, the Empire dropping a walker into the ocean (I guess they are water-tight, provide oxygen, and can stand several pressure levels – pretty impressive) because a walker surfaces to engage the two rebel scum on the beach. The first trap, poison-tipped “quills from the spikeshark,” takes out several troopers while Luke and his lightsaber take out several more, but the walker puts an end to Luke’s nonsense by fire on him. This is when Leia, in all her Aloy glory, fires a flaming arrow at a mass of flammables they’d collected that’s near the walker’s foot. The explosion destroys the walker, and the rebels win the day. They use parts from the walker to fix their ship, and the rest of walker is sunk as a new reef for the water folk. So, another happy ending…but then at the end we’re teased with some kind of goings on between Lando and Sana, which seems like it will be the story of the next issue…I both like and dislike this idea at the same time: I like a story line with Sana that doesn’t involve Han, Luke, or Leia, but why does it have to involve Lando? I love Lando, don’t get me wrong, I think his miniseries is the best one they’ve done, but I don’t like the idea of Lando being involved with the Rebellion pre-ESB. That just seems wholly unnecessary; however, I don’t find it hard to believe at all that Sana and Lando would know each other, so maybe he’s unknowingly helping the Rebellion, which I think would be pretty cool.
So, what did you think? I thought it was a pretty good story, and definitely a step in the right direction since having to endure that goofy Stonepower arc and the terrible Screaming Citadel faux pas. That said, as I mentioned earlier, I’m beyond disgruntled that they’re just letting this whole 3PO/R2 thing just linger out there. It makes no sense. That should have been priority number one, no questions asked, but now we’re at least over a month removed from that cliffhanger with no return to it in sight. The comics are feeling more and more willy-nilly all the time; it’s almost as if Luscasfilm has given up on the medium and is just letting them do whatever silly thing comes to mind – it’s like “canon light.” Anyway, what do you think about Lando being in the Star Wars series pre-ESB? Yay or nay? How ’bout Leia being a total primitive badass, huh? I thought that was pretty rad, personally. What did you think of the hammerhead-looking spikeshark? I tell you what, I’d play a Star Wars version of “Big Game Hunter” in a heartbeat…anyway, give the book a thorough second read and let me know what you think in the comments…or I’ll use you as bait when I go spikeshark fishing, but won’t have anyone waiting with a lighsaber to make sure you don’t get swallowed…until next time, TWS out.